as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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