It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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