The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize