never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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