I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
