Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
