if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
