she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
