sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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