Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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