he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
