Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
