Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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