theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
