i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
