Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
a search helicopter?!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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