So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
