oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
sarcasm needs its own font
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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