I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
