also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
