So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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