drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
