A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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