Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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