come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
