its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
