i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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