I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
