Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery

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  (281) wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery http://tfl.nu/mwr2
  Replies (6) Good night (2048) Bad night (1336)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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  (240): shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich http://tfl.nu/bipz
  Replies (78) Good night (2512) Bad night (1051)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.

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  (724): soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices. http://tfl.nu/oyfa
  Replies (10) Good night (866) Bad night (5687)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave

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  (203): so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave http://tfl.nu/bg5d
  Replies (11) Good night (5390) Bad night (671)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.

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  (717): i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now. http://tfl.nu/sepd
  Replies (86) Good night (5227) Bad night (2208)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?

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  (563): I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful? http://tfl.nu/ij5q
  Replies (24) Good night (3449) Bad night (3632)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.

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  (248): She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds. http://tfl.nu/bean
  Replies (9) Good night (4667) Bad night (1604)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.

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  (708): I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious. http://tfl.nu/uku0
  Replies (16) Good night (1680) Bad night (3386)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

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  (570): I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink. http://tfl.nu/sq0r
  Replies (11) Good night (869) Bad night (3688)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.

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  (248): You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual. http://tfl.nu/weeh
  Replies (4) Good night (2608) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.

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  (704): It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals. http://tfl.nu/tnox
  Replies (4) Good night (2132) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.

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  (515): It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful. http://tfl.nu/3wbb
  Replies (4) Good night (1905) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

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  (650): Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america http://tfl.nu/igww
  Replies (8) Good night (1844) Bad night (550)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.

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  (202): There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1. http://tfl.nu/62gt
  Replies (8) Good night (685) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?

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  (440): My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened? http://tfl.nu/7ofa
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (266)

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