Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk http://tfl.nu/jjss
  Replies (4) Good night (5015) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college. http://tfl.nu/379h
  Replies (44) Good night (4255) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  "Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): "Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/szr3
  Replies (61) Good night (1083) Bad night (11086)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three. http://tfl.nu/b36h
  Replies (17) Good night (889) Bad night (5274)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often http://tfl.nu/h6kk
  Replies (7) Good night (3153) Bad night (1544)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss. http://tfl.nu/x43e
  Replies (11) Good night (4290) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (+75): View more from

  It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+75): It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more http://tfl.nu/60s4
  Replies (11) Good night (782) Bad night (2213)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home http://tfl.nu/noo6
  Replies (12) Good night (3591) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/0jj8
  Replies (8) Good night (966) Bad night (1797)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window http://tfl.nu/010r
  Replies (12) Good night (576) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it http://tfl.nu/mwwo
  Replies (7) Good night (1127) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters http://tfl.nu/ncp4
  Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get. http://tfl.nu/37ej
  Replies (0) Good night (725) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint http://tfl.nu/7p3b
  Replies (0) Good night (252) Bad night (147)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this http://tfl.nu/3umf
  Replies (3) Good night (206) Bad night (117)

Randomize