Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.

(785): View more from Kansas

I could make treat bags

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours

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(612): View more from Minnesota

adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(409): View more from Texas

First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

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(806): View more from Texas

Two words Indian burn...

(1-806): View more from Texas

What did she think it was, a shake weight?

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(209): View more from California

Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.

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