Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
