How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
