1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
