We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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