found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
