I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
