You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
