He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
