I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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