Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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