It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
