i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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