bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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