Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
