I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
