Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
