I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
