I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
