Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
