i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
