she was so not down for the gang bang
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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