Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
