We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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