If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
