I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
