Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize