He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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