i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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