i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
