This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
